Christmas Morsels

In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it “Christmas” and went to church; the Jews called it “Hanukka” and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say “Merry Christmas!” or “Happy Hanukka!” or (to the atheists) “Look out for the wall!”
~ Dave Barry

*****

It’s going to be 35 degrees on Christmas Day. That’s in Celsius, by the way. As in, Bloody Hot. Needless to say, lunch will not be a hot roast. And you can keep your pudding and brandy custard. Ice cream all the way, baby.

Now, I can imagine my Northern Hemisphere friends are trying to wrap their heads around a Christmas Day with sunshine, heat, a cold lunch and flies. And why wouldn’t you? It’s not the common conception of Christmas, is it?

See, we here in the Southern Hemisphere have the advantage of being able toΒ simultaneously understand both a hot and a cold Christmas given the plethora of snowy Christmas TV specials and movies that abound in the global culture in conjunction with our actual experience of Christmas. Pity, then, those in the wintry Christmas lands who are spared the equivalent televisual experience of a baking Christmas (and I’m not talking about cookies). I imagine one can count on one hand the number of Christmas movies set down south of the world.

So you may or may not understand this song.

*****

I do like Christmas on the whole…. In its clumsy way, it does approach Peace and Goodwill. But it is clumsier every year.
~ E.M. Forster

*****

Last year someone suggestedΒ to me that I should be developing my own Christmas traditions rather than just perpetuating the ones from my childhood. I found this mildly confusing as I thought that was the whole point of tradition. Also, given my boys were already teenagers, it seemed a bit late to be starting new traditions.

Then, at an event this year, we were asked to bring along something that represented a Christmas tradition for our family. Uh oh.

I conveniently forgot to take anything.

But a few days later, as we decorated the Christmas tree, I realised that we had established a new Christmas tradition. Introduced two years ago, we have our own special tree-topper that minds our Christmas tree each year now.

Why have a standard star or cutesy angel on the top of your tree when you can have one of the most terrifying monsters ever to come out of Steven Moffat’s frightening head? #ChristmasWeepingAngel #WeAreNotInsane

I can’t wait for the next opportunity to share that Christmas tradition.

*****

In a wonderful book I was given for Christmas by a dear friend, I learnt that you can learn the twelve cranial nerves to “The Twelve Days of Christmas”. It might be my new favourite carol.

On the first nerve of the cranium,
my true love gave to me:
My sense olfactory.

On the second nerve of the cranium,
my true love gave to me:
Two eyes a-looking,
And my sense olfactory.

And so on, the last verse being:

On the twelfth nerve of the cranium,
my true love gave to me:

Twelve lovely lickings, (Hypoglossal)
Eleven heads a-tilting, (Spinal accessory)
Ten heartbeats a minute, (Vagus)
Nine quick swallows, (Glossopharyngeal)
Eight sounds, and balance, (Auditory)
Seven funny faces, (Facial)
Six sideways glances, (Abducens)
Mas-ti-ca-tion! (Trigeminal)
Four superior oblique muscles, (Trochlear)
Three cross-eyed glances, (Oculomotor)
Two eyes a-looking, (Optic)
And my sense olfactory. (Olfactory)

Just because.

****

Santa knows Physics: Of all colors, Red Light penetrates fog best. That’s why Benny the Blue-nosed reindeer never got the gig.
~ Neil deGrasse Tyson

*****

Half the parcels I’ve been waiting on (stocked full of Christmas presents for the boys) haven’t arrived. It’s a common phenomenon apparently.

Sucks to be a postie at this time of year.

****

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.
~ Johnny Carson

****

To all my friends, family members, fellow bloggers, and random strangers who came here by mistake, I wish you all the appropriate greetings for the celebration of your choice and hope that the coming year brings all of the things you want and none of the things you don’t. And may we all find peace on earth.

****

I sometimes think we expect too much of Christmas Day. We try to crowd into it the long arrears of kindliness and humanity of the whole year. As for me, I like to take my Christmas a little at a time, all through the year. And thus I drift along into the holidays – let them overtake me unexpectedly – waking up some fine morning and suddenly saying to myself: “Why, this is Christmas Day!”
~ David Grayson

 
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64 thoughts on “Christmas Morsels

  1. We have a dear little fellow sitting in the middle of a small plaited wreath hanging on our tree. It looks like he wants to hold something and that’s because, once upon a time, he was holding a little red gift. But my daughter ate it when she was two! Thankfully the tradition of eating the tree ornaments didn’t take off in our house! Happy Christmas to you all!

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Pingback: Christmas Morsels β€” Master of Something I’m Yet To Discover – shoptodayblog

  3. “Ice cream all the way, baby.” My thoughts exactly. I like hot weather, I really do. Any opportunity for ice-cream πŸ˜€ But I will be staying indoors for most of the time because, hey, don’t want to overheat and I want to feel comfortable enjoying my food. Come to think of it, ice-cream melts much quicker in hot weather. My parents are doing a family lunch on Christmas, and I hear they have bought some ham…which I think won’t be too bad to eat in this weather.

    LOL, a touch of Dr Who atop your tree. Now that is fun, and fun is how the holidays should be. Hope them parcels arrive soon. A gift from someone is always worth the wait. The boy looks proud putting it up πŸ˜€

    Merry Christmas and best wishes.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Cold ham and seafood at ours. It’s the only way to go in this weather. I’m disappointed the books I ordered have not turned up. I’ve thought about wrapping some old books and attaching a label “These are not the books you are looking for.” πŸ˜€

      Merry Christmas to you and your family, Mabel. Stay cool. πŸ™‚

      Liked by 2 people

  4. That’s certainly a unique tree topper and I love your Twelve days of Christmas version, very entertaining. Merry Christmas to you and yours. Cheers!🍷Here’s to staying cool tomorrow. 😎

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Happy hot Christmas! Happy start to the summer holidays! Happy Christmas ice cream, mangoes, cherries and watermelon!
    We have a one-legged angel known as (something very un-PC) cherished by the family for years, now still in pride of place on my eldest daughter’s Christmas tree.

    Liked by 4 people

    • When I was looking for quotes for this post, so many were horribly saccharine. Things like your one-legged angel are the antidote to the sugar! I love it.

      We love to splash out on a big seafood spread for Christmas – perfect for a hot summer day. πŸ™‚

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  6. However you top your tree, I hope you have a great Christmas. We are sitting under a cool rain today. It may was away the last bit of snow, but some might stick around so we can hold the notion of a White Christmas. I hope your packages arrive and your ice cream is aldo appropriately topped.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I hope we reach 35 today (F not C!)… I really liked the song. And the new tradition, scary πŸ˜‰ Actually, I need a blinking emoji, not a winking one, don’t eye? I mean, don’t I? I hope you have a very merry Christmas!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Yes, 14C would be a cold day in winter for us (but not very, very cold – it has to drop under 10C for it to make the news) but that does sound positively summery for you. πŸ™‚ We got to our 35C and we were in the ocean at 6pm for a cool off. Hope your day is/was lovely. πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  8. That’s a fetching outfit No. 2 son has on … [grin]
    I love it that you have a tree – it’s not so normal, these days. And “Don’t Blink !” is one of my very favourites, H darlin: Moffat when I could follow. Carey Mulligan before she was famous. Terrific plot-line. What’s not to like ?
    I have had super toast, wiped me bum, eaten a star, heard some cool music … life’s good. You’re amazing.
    XXO

    Liked by 2 people

    • You would think, from what the two progeny are wearing in those photos, that we always decorate the tree in the early morning but if I were to show a group shot from this year’s tree decorating, you would see the two eldest in their Doctor Who dressing gowns and the youngest in his school uniform as this was in the late afternoon on a school day (the eldest ones having already finished their studies and hence still in their pjs at 5pm).

      Blink was/is an amazing episode. One to make any Top 10 list.

      We always have a real tree. We had a fake one once when we were housesitting in Adelaide over Christmas and sourcing a real one would have been a hassle but it now lives in its box in the garage. There’s nothing quite like the smell of a real tree.

      Liked by 2 people

  9. We have a Christmas tree made of driftwood pieces and to top it off, a twisted cane wreath hanging from the front door. We are expecting the grandsons and mum any moment. The Raan has been cooked and all is ready. Even so, I’ll be glad when it is over. The expectations are of fever pitch but it will pass.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Very festive post! Merry Christmas to you down under!

    Here in the great white north the radio sometimes plays ‘Six White Boomers’. The song was most popular the year we had Christmas day dinner with our Melbourne friends when we were all living in the Middle East – that was a hot Christmas too!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Did that hot Christmas feel weird? It’s so normal for us but I imagine those used to snow and sub-zero temperatures would find it hard to believe it was actually Christmas. I love Six White Boomers (it’s just a pity that it’s a bit tainted now by the revelations about the artist who sings it). It’s nice to have an Aussie carol.

      Merry Christmas to you and your family, Margie! Stay warm. πŸ˜‰

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      • Too bad people can’t separate out the song from one of the two people who wrote it…

        Once you have the decorations up, Christmas is Christmas! It was -22C here yesterday. I’d quite happily be in a place where it is +22C, except it wouldn’t be the same unless all the family and friends were there!

        Liked by 1 person

  11. Lovely post! I especially enjoyed the quotes. That Dave Berry one cracked me up!
    I agree with you on the traditions. New ones are fine, of course, but it takes awhile to establish tradition.
    I feel for you, because I have had hot Christmases, and being a northern hemisphere northerner, or a Yankee as we say, I did not enjoy them. Ice cream all the way on any day for me!

    Liked by 2 people

    • I’ve read that quote so many times and it still makes me laugh every time!

      Given a cold Christmas is so pervasive in popular culture, I can imagine that a hot one would be just wrong for so many but it’s weirdly normal for us. Christmas means the end of the school year, the start of the long summer holidays and trips to the beach.

      I had an oversupply of mangoes in the fridge so two of them went into some homemade icecream. Perfect for a summer Christmas. πŸ™‚

      Hope you’ve had a lovely Christmas, Joey!

      Liked by 2 people

    • I love it too, Su. It’s so us. (We’re all a bit weird and proud of it!) It will top our tree for many years to come now. Did you cry when you listened to the song? I always get a bit teary.

      Merry Christmas to you, Su and to your family. Hope you had a lovely day. πŸ™‚

      Liked by 2 people

      • I did have a cry; and then ended up watching a bunch of Tim Minchin videos on YouTube at the end of the day. The Big T has bought a chromecast, and was very happy to try it out. Hope your Christmas has gone well. What did you think of the Dr Who Xmas special? I assume it played in Aus on Boxing Day too?

        Liked by 1 person

        • Every time I watch a Tim Minchin video I end up doing the same and watching a bunch of others. ‘Prejudice’ has to be one of my favourites (and one I’m sure you can relate to also πŸ˜‰ ).

          Yes, the traditional Boxing Day Christmas Special. πŸ™‚ We had to wait for the Middle Son to get home from work at 9pm and then watch it on the streaming service. We loved it. One of the boys mentioned that you don’t realise how much you’ve missed it until you get a new episode after a long wait. I do like Peter Capaldi. He’s hilarious.

          Liked by 1 person

          • Yep! The man is a genius, and a huge hit in this household. I know what your son means about Dr Who too. I’m not totally sure about Peter Capaldi as the Doctor, despite really admiring him as an actor. Not quite sure why! Still I did enjoy the Xmas Special.

            Liked by 1 person

    • How warm did it get down your way, Ruth? I’ve often thought I’d like to live in Tassie during the summer because it always seems a tad cooler down there. But I’d want to move further north in winter. πŸ˜‰

      I love that Tim Minchin song. Listen to it every year and it always makes me a bit teary. Maybe it reminds me of the Christmas I spent away from home in my 20s.

      Merry Christmas and Happy Boxing Day!

      Like

      • As regards the hot vs cold version of Christmas, I loved growing up in the northern hemisphere and having the ‘Victorian’ traditions,and the celebrations do throw a little light in our dull and cold winter months, but I also loved the southern hemisphere ones when I could do away with all that nonsense and just enjoy getting together with friends and family without the need for all the bl**dy cooking! Although I admit seeing robins on Christmas cards for sale in Cape Town was a little weird at first. I think the southerners should have their own traditions, but I suppose a lot of them have been passed down through the generations of immigrants. Maybe in time they will change to reflect the sort of Christmas you guys experience.

        Liked by 1 person

  12. I’m late to the party, but I hope your Christmas was a happy one. A swim in the ocean at the end of the day sounds perfect … although admittedly, I do prefer cool weather. Sorry, but 35C is too warm for me at any time πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

  13. We had our sixteen to lunch yesterday, Boxing Day, and the heat wasn’t so severe. Our seven family member who stayed for 3-4 nights left this morning. With 35 degrees we sat outside on the day! No-one complained! Thanks for the Tim Minchin song, he’s a genius. It’s so good having a tradition that links up family and friends.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Boxing Day would have been a much more pleasant day for a large gathering, Barbara. We had so much food left over because no one felt like eating much. Gosh, seven to stay! You must be noticing the quiet now they’ve left. πŸ™‚ Merry Christmas to you, Barbara. Hope there’s a good year ahead.

      Liked by 1 person

  14. I’m personally quite keen on the beach idea for Christmas. Three times we have managed a beach Christmas and if money grew on trees it would definitely be a tradition. Only a star on our tree but I think I may have the remnants of Baby Jesus that I tried to eat as a small child. True story.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Isn’t that taking the ‘bread as the body of Jesus’ thing a bit far? Or back to front?

      Three beach Christmases? That’s impressive. I’ve only had two winter Christmases in my life (that I remember – I think there’s one more I don’t remember) but neither time did we actually have snow. Still need to tick that one off the bucket list.

      Liked by 1 person

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