Another year over

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A new one just begun… (almost)

I believe it is customary at this time of year to make resolutions for the year ahead. I’ve never been a fan of New Year Resolutions. It always feels like setting yourself up for failure.

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But I’ve been reviewing my resistance to resolutions.

Common areas for improvement have traditionally been based around losing weight, getting fit and giving up some vice or other.

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I don’t need to lose weight. Even with a chocolate-laden diet. Lucky me.

I already belong to a gym and have control over my fitness. It’s what allows me to have my chocolate-fuelled diet. It’s all about motivation.

I don’t smoke and I don’t….oh. Well, okay, I could probably make alterations in my imbibing rates at times. I like wine. And beer. And gin. That’s grapes, wholegrains and berries. I’m pretty sure all of those appear in the healthy section of the food pyramid, right? So I’m all good there, then.

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So I have been musing about resolutions and their purpose and have concluded that they are about improvement of oneself and benefit to others. In which case, I’ve come up with the following resolutions for 2019:

1. I will politely decline whenever anyone asks me to take a photo of them. I am a shocking photographer. This will reduce disappointment in the world.

2. I will perfect the politician’s skill of answering a question with a question thus avoiding talking about myself. This will reduce eyestrain in the community as people are no longer required to dart their eyes to the side looking for a way out whenever I am speaking, especially after a couple of glasses of wine.

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3. I will write all emails and messages based on the competition standard of 25 words or less. Then I will delete them. Only if I can be bothered rewriting them will I send them. This will increase productivity across the land.

4. I will limit my consumption of American late night talk show host monologues to once a week. This is for my own general wellbeing and mental health. It will also reduce boredom in those less obsessed with US politics.

5. I will utilise the gym more regularly but will not talk about it on social media. (Okay, so I lied about having control over my fitness. Seriously, who doesn’t drop the ball over Christmas/New Year?)

In the tradition of New Year Resolutions, I expect to have broken every one of these by the end of January.

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Sorry.

 

Got some New Year Resolutions of your own? How do you think you’ll go?

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42 thoughts on “Another year over”

  1. A truly excellent monologue on all things NY-res-related, H ! – I challenge anyone to better it. 🙂
    Here’s to a super 2019 for you and the testosterone quartet (but mostly for you).
    I look into my crystal ball and see something strange … is that a car battery ,,,?
    XXOXOXO

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  2. Hmm almost diametrically opposite me: almost none of my habits support my physical wellbeing and changes must be made. I was the houseguest last week of an extraordinary, vibrant woman who is part way through treatment for a very aggressive cancer. She is in constant debilitating pain, yet she goes to the gym every day, walks her dog, and goes to work, as a corporate lawyer no less, prepares delicious meals, mothers her primary school age son, loves and supports her partner, maintains a social life, and all with good cheer and sparkling wit. My resolution is to live like I mean it.

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  4. I promise myself to take up smoking again. I stopped decades ago together with eating celery and raw apples, yet my heart works at 26% and am now on 6 pills each day. I have been good for nothing all those years and will take my revenge. While smoking I’ll crack a nice Shiraz.
    All the best for the NY.
    Gerard

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  5. I never make resolutions, but maybe it is time that I did and take control of my life instead of just watching it pass me by. The trouble is winter is not the time to make changes, the body craves carbs and sleep. Wake me up in spring and remind me…
    Have a great 2019 H and I look forward to more of your wonderful humour and interesting posts xx

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    • Thanks, Jude. 🙂 I hadn’t thought of the seasonal aspect. I guess it is so much much easier for us to launch into making the New Me when the sun is shining and the days are long. Maybe along with our ‘Christmas in July’ (to allow us the experience of a hot dinner in cold weather), the Northern hemisphere should be making New Financial Year resolutions at the end of June.

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  8. Thanks for the smiles, Heather! Maybe the biggie is to love yourself a little more and spread that out to others. 🙂 🙂 I can’t get my head around a sunny, hot New Year’s Day and fireworks not bundled up against the cold. A Christmas Day beach outing I can cope with. Clear blue skies here right now but the temperatures will drop this evening. I have my warm scarf for the expedition to the bridge at Tavira. Happy New Year!

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  9. Hehehehe. This is a great twist on New Year’s resolutions. Though I must say I agree with 1. Usually I agree to help people take a photo…and then they all go pose for like, two seconds, and before moving around so it’s hard for you to take a decent shot. There is so much trust in asking someone to take a photo for you…what if they run away with your phone or camera.

    Best wishes for the year ahead, Heather. I won’t be surprised if you ran another marathon or do some big project and amaze us 😀

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    • I’ve had friends ask me to take a photo and then later they post on social media and use a selfie they took after I left. 🙄

      Thanks, Mabel. There are some things in the pipeline. Stay tuned! Have a great New Year and all the best for 2019.

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      • That is awkward… One time I took a photo for some random people on the street. After I walked a few steps away, they asked someone else to take a photo of them. Seriously, they were still in earshot too 🙄

        Looking forward to following your adventures, Heather.

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  10. An excellent twist on resolutions! I particularly like your observations about grapes, grains, and berries. Combined with our favourite plant-based food (aka chocolate), I’d say it all makes for a generally well-rounded diet.

    My own resolutions? Give me a few months to think about it. I generally like to take the path less trodden 😉

    Happy New Year, Heather!

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  11. Heather, I love your humorous spin on making resolutions, especially in reference to the grapes, whole grains & berries! Keep writing my friend, love it when see one of your posts pop up in my reader.

    Wishing you an amazing 2019! Lynn xoxo

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  12. Happy New Year to you and your family, Heather. I hope you’re managing to stay cool in your southern heat wave. I don’t make resolutions either, as I try to live a positive life as best I can. I do plan to regularly submit my manuscripts to publishers whenever I see opportunities advertised. I’ve been a bit slack and discouraged about that, but if I don’t submit no one will see them.

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  14. Such a cheerful dose of cynicism. I feel my new year is smilier for it. May you have plenty of chocolate and gin, strong muscles, and may you watch only the very best in US nighttime monologues — you live well m’dear!

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    • Goals is such a better word because it suggests movement towards something. So if you don’t quite reach it, that’s okay as long as you’ve moved towards it. Resolution (coming from resolve) has such a finality and unrelenting commitment to it that it almost immediately implies you’ve failed as a human being if you don’t reach it.
      Glad this made you smile. It was a laugh to write it. 🙂

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