What is left?
When the things you want to do are hampered or denied
by injury
by lack of time
by lack of space
by lack of money.
What is left?
When those you love are absent
the one who remarries and moves away
the one who lives on the other side of the world
the one who moves away in search of work
the one who would have understood you best but is gone forever.
What is left?
When the friends you had have been driven away
by hurtful words
by thoughtless actions
by irrational emotion
by a lack of attention and time spent.
What is left?
When the structures that held you up and held you steady
the community of faith
the community of theatre
the community of song
the community of writers
are damaged or gone from your life.
What is left?
When you see yourself failing
as a partner
as a parent
as a child to an ageing parent.
What is left?
What is left?
Not much.
Only to try and remember
you have a roof over your head and bombs will not fall on it
you have food in the cupboard that will not vanish with the next drought or flood
you have a home and a place to belong instead of languishing in a refugee camp
you have education, healthcare and technology readily available.
What is left?
Gratitude. Wherever you can find it.
It can be difficult some days to find gratitude when every little thing seems to be on a downward slide, but there is gratitude to be found. Thank you for this beautiful reminder.
LikeLiked by 3 people
“when every little thing seems to be on a downward slide” – yes, that’s exactly what it feels like. And it is difficult but given they are only little things (even if they’re all colluding), I try to remember that they are only little things in the global scheme of things. Thanks, Lynn.
LikeLike
Hugs my friend β€οΈ
LikeLiked by 1 person
This is a very good reminder to those of us who really can’t complain.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Even if we want to… Maybe it’s okay to complain but to also keep in mind that we don’t really have that much to complain about.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Such a powerful piece Heather. I listened last nigh ot Amanda Lindhout speak last night about her 15 months in captivity in Somalia. I left there thinking i would be grateful for every little thing, but most of all freedom, for the rest of my days. I hope i don’t lose that feeling. Thank you for such a timely post.
LikeLiked by 1 person
When I went to Peru some years ago to help build a bridge in a village so the kids could get to school safely and I saw how the kids lived in stone huts with dirt floors, no electricity and no running water and how excited they were to receive some paper and pens from us, I found myself, back home, sitting in the school playground waiting to pick up my kids and unable to sit and listen to other parents whinge about how the basketball coach doesn’t give their son enough court time or how the teacher doesn’t understand their daughter. I would have to walk away before I yelled “Get a grip!” The thing is, after a year, I fell back into the same everyday worries about my own children. However. now and again, that experience comes back to me (and my subsequent similar experience in Nepal) and it pulls me up. What I’m trying to say with all that is that be mindful that you feel this way now but you may find yourself taking things for granted again one day. But don’t be discouraged because this woman’s story will stay with you always and will pull you up from time to time and that, I think, is a good thing. We need to remember.
LikeLiked by 3 people
I thought of you last night as I watched Turia Pitt being interviewed by Charlie Pickering (available on ABC iView). She’s a runner. And a survivor. This interview was… words fail.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I’ll check it out.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Concern, H. A lot of it. Remember always that you ARE loved.
LikeLiked by 2 people
When my life feels like nothing but mistakes and stuff ups, it’s hard to imagine why that might be….
LikeLike
Yes, what M-R said ^^
I am grateful that I know such a wonderful, caring person as you through blogging. Much love and hugs from across the ocean.
LikeLike
I’m sending love and hugs back across the ocean to you, M-J, my special never-met-friend. β€
LikeLiked by 1 person
You are hurting on too many levels right now. And perspective, while well and good doesn’t change your pain, it can sometimes add an extra layer of guilt to an already full emotional sandwich. You are loved, you have folks who will stand by you no matter the weather. And no we can’t replace those you lost, but that was never our purpose. Gratitude allows us to see the rainbow after the storm, the new seedlings unfurling where once mighty oaks stood… Be kind to yourself my dear friend
LikeLiked by 2 people
As always, you understand completely. I’m trying to remind myself that my problems are trivial in comparison to others and at the same time, as you’ve guessed, feeling completely guilty that I feel so bad. Not sure yet how to get through this one but haven’t completely given up just yet.
LikeLike
Pingback: What Is Left? β Master of Something I’m Yet To Discover | michaelsnaith
Mmmhm. π
LikeLiked by 1 person
[silently nods]
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ah, H, none of us is perfect, but most of us do our best even if at times it feels as if we’re not succeeding. Try not to be too hard on yourself. You are one of the good’uns!
LikeLiked by 2 people
I’m so far from perfect right now, mediocre would be high achievement.
Thanks, Jude.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Don’t be too hard on yourself!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Darlin, it sounds like you’re giving yourself a hard time, grateful or not. I don’t have much idea of what’s gone awry Heather, but you are a good person, and you can but try. Sending hugs π π
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Jo. Just a lot of things piling up at once but I’m working through them.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for the reminder, put so beautifully in your poem! It does get difficult to remember to be grateful each day rather than overwhelmed. Looking forward to re-reading this frequently.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you so much. Usually these posts are about sorting things out in my own head but it’s always a bonus if it also speaks to others.
LikeLiked by 1 person
This is so beautiful!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you.
LikeLike
Heather, I don’t know you and I don’t know what you are currently going through, but can tell from your blog that you have an inner resilience and awareness that will in the end, triumph. There are so many people who you have been touched through your blog and clearly by the comments, and followers, you are not even a smidgen, a failure. I enjoy your globally aware, unique and diverse blog, as do so many others. I can relate to your feelings of your third world experiences, as I felt similarly after visiting Nepal. How experience, and what is important, is fluid and relative to where one is at any given moment. I felt I had an extremely wasteful, extravagant life back home, even though I am not rich by any stretch, yet my life and those of the Nepalese villagers, was rich in many other intangible ways. I try to put feelings of guilt about my luck at being born in the Western style world, into constructive action, as I am sure you do too. Getting involved in community projects from afar, when we cannot be there to help on a local level. When life is hard and gets you down, things can seem disproportionately bad. Our negative thoughts can drag us away from the positivity in our lives, yet know that everything, like bad weather, passes. It might seem little comfort in the present moment, but things do change, and more often than not, improve. For you and, for the folk in the refugee camps around the world, I hope that cloud passes over very soon.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Amanda, thank you. What I have appreciated most from my involvement in the blog world is the ability to put thoughts that are weighing heavily on my mind out into the ether and to receive in return helpful perspective and empathetic support. Things are much better but I do continue to wrestle with difficult changes in my life and issues around trust. But I am still lucky in my life compared to so many others and I am grateful for that.
LikeLike
I came to your blog accidentally. Read this post of yours once. Then I opened it read it once again. Words are powerful. You made me stuck in your post and I was sitting here and thinking what is left when basically everything you want is denied in your life including happiness. Good oneππ½
LikeLike
Just stopping by to say hello, sugar plum ) π I took a wander down the people I follow in my Reader and there you were. Sounding miserable! I do hope things have improved for you, Heather. Sending late Christmas hugs!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Jo! Thank you for stopping by and Hello to you too! Things did improve. Life has been busy and my focus has been elsewhere so the blog has been neglected. Someday soon (maybe today!) I will finish the half-written post that explains where my focus has been. I also hope to get some focus back to the blogging.
So good to hear from you. I hope you’ve had a lovely Christmas. π
LikeLike
Thanks darlin! Glad you’re ok. It was a different Christmas for us this year. My son is living with a lovely girl who has a 5 year old so we went to them and played with Lego and Scalectrix. New Year will be with my Polish family in Norfolk and soon we’ll be selling up and moving to the Algarve.
LikeLike