Killing Herman

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Killing Herman

It has to end. I just can’t care for him any longer. When he first came to us, I was vigilant about feeding him, looking after him, helping him reach his potential. But it’s been a month now and I just don’t think I can do it any more.

I could blame it on my busy life. Already caring for five males (one husband, three sons and a ginger cat), it would be reasonable to say I don’t have room in my life for another.

I could blame the injury. A fall at work last week left me on crutches for a day and my scraped right hand is still giving me gyp. It doesn’t need another task to undertake each day.

But if I were to be truly honest, I would have to admit that it’s most probably because I am bored. He’s had a pretty good life with us, three times longer than we were expected to keep him, but he’s starting to outstay his welcome.

I almost killed him over the weekend. He should have been fed on Friday. I remembered on Monday. He’s hanging in there but it doesn’t seem right to subject him to such neglect.

So it’s time to lay Herman to rest.

Herman

Herman – Surviving rather than thriving

Herman is a chain-letter cake. Okay, so technically he’s Herman the German Friendship Cake but when it comes right down to it, he’s really just an edible version of those annoying chain letters that do the rounds. I’m not much of a fan of chain-anythings but in this case, at least we got cake. Multiple cakes, in fact.

The theory, having been given Herman by a ‘friend’ (see aforementioned opinion of chain letters and suchlike), is to look after and grow Herman until he is able to give of himself and to then pass him on to three friends while keeping one portion for yourself to bake into a cake. I thought it was clever to give away two portions, make a cake with one and then keep the last one to start all over again. Herman has been prolific in his sharing. I thought we’d be together longer. Others have lived for 25 years. It’s a romantic idea but impractical in a barely-managing household of teenagers and working parents.

I’m sorry, Herman.

At least you can cater for your own wake.

Herman Cake

Still giving.

 

 

 

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60 thoughts on “Killing Herman”

    • Part of the reason that I think it is time to give him up is that the cake has been disappearing much more slowly than the first ones did. Perhaps we’re all a little bored. (And that’s with trying variations on the cake recipe.)
      Thanks for commenting, Ros. 🙂

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  2. Poor Herman. He sounded delicious. Maybe he was just to plain to everyone’s liking. Or lacked that pizzaz a popular dessert tend to have. Maybe he was just too ordinary. I’m not much of a baker but when I do put something sweet in the oven, I make sure it’s a small portion…if it’s good, it’s good. If it’s not, then it will be downed quickly in no time 🙂

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  6. ‘Tis a talented “friend” that can cater his own wake……I’m thinking you’ve done more than your fair share on this one and it’s okay to let him go. Sometimes it’s the more peaceful option……… 🙂

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  10. I have had a couple rounds of this kind of dough passing in my earlier days. The last time, about 10 years ago, the resulting volcanic mass made 12 dozen muffins which none of my family liked. I took them to a local soup kitchen and they were warmly welcomed there. Since that no more Hermans for me.

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    • That was a good thought to have, Sue. I’m sure Herman appreciated being used in such a way.

      I didn’t think of muffins. It would be a way of hiding “yet another Herman cake” in disguise.
      I’ll let you know if they end up at the local soup kitchen…

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  11. Only you. Definitely. Well, you and the other idiots. [grin]
    But H darlin, it actually looks YUMMY !!! I note I wasn’t included in the chain, and I am grateful because I would’ve eaten Herman’s offspring entirely on my own. Which I think you know. 🙂

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    • It’s the same concept as a normal sourdough starter, it’s just cake based (there’s a lot of sugar involved). The friendship angle is just because you’re supposed to share the excess. I don’t know why he’s German.

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      • Thought it might be! I guess the sugar makes it grow quite quickly. I had to buy a bigger jar for our starter yesterday so that we could bake more, more often. I think that was a case of optimism stomping all over experience and common sense. But it’s a nice jar, and will look good with biscuits in it when we get tired of baking bread. 🙂 Unless of course the b&b thing happens.

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  15. Every mother has to supervise one of these things at least once – to know not to do it again! Until she forgets and is persuaded by offspring it is essential to happiness!

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  18. I learn something new everyday … and today it was chain-cake. What an odd concept. I already have enough *issues* (licorice, chocolate, etc) without adding recurring cake to the list. Whoever dreamed up this idea was evil.

    I’m glad you killed off the devil spawn before it could spread any further. Good work.

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