An Ode To Milk Duds

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Milk Duds

I think that some will never see

A poem as lovely as a tree

But to them, I say “My buds,

No tree can match the great Milk Duds.”

My favourite American ‘candy’ (I’ll excuse my use of this so-USA term since it relates to confectionery native to that country) is the Milk Dud. Or must they always be referred to in the plural? My favourite American candy is the Milk Duds. That doesn’t sound right either. Anyone know the accepted convention? No?

Anyway, however you say it, these golden nuggets of chocolate-coated caramel are always my imported candy/lolly/sweet of choice.

So imagine my eagerness to stock up on their nuggety goodness during a recent visit to the Big Toffee Apple.

Except I couldn’t find them. Not anywhere. Not even at the great Dylan’s Candy Bar. Not even at the Hershey’s store.

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Milk Duds are made by Hershey’s. You’d think, logically, wouldn’t you, that an iconic Hershey’s flagship store would stock their own product, right?

Wrong.

Was there a national Milk Duds shortage? Or had they (gasp!) stopped making them?? Had Milk Duds gone the way of the Pollywaffle to be relegated to the Dodo-land of Extinct Chocolate Bars?

No search of the candy aisle in a supermarket, bodega or gift shop could turn up the favoured treat. There was nothing for it but to go home empty-Milk-Duds-handed.

And then today, as I wandered aimlessly in our state capital, the display in a local Lolly Shop caught my eye. GASP! MILK DUDS!! I hurried into the shop and asked for the precious gold ingots. I purchased the last remaining box. Perhaps they really were soon to be relegated to “Retro” status.

I could, of course, ask Mr Google if my worst fears have been realised but I think I do not want my worst fears to be realised. Much like believing in fairies, if I keep the belief in the existence of Milk Duds alive, then surely they will continue to exist.

But perhaps it would be wise to consult Mr Google as to the availability of further purchases within reasonable delivery cost and stock up, just in case.

GROSS FACT NO.1

Any turd found at the bottom of a public swimming pool was colloquially referred to as a “Pollywaffle”. Perhaps this is what hastened the poor chocolate bar’s demise.

SAD FACT NO.1

The Allen’s Confectionery Company (owned by Nestlé) has just announced the cessation of production of Spearmint Leaves and Green Frogs. This has caused outrage from the Mini Chocolate Christmas Pudding makers of Australia who will no longer have a sugary imitation of holly leaves. Nobody seems to care about the frogs.

 

 

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60 thoughts on “An Ode To Milk Duds”

  1. Also love these bad boys. Only problem is, it takes hours for me to pry my teeth apart again. If, in fact, they are being discontinued, it only verifies that the apocalypse is truly upon us!

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  3. I’m still recovering from the demise of the Great Pool Turd. Ok, it literally looked like shit, but tasted like heaven. I can survive, so long as they keep their economic rationalist paws of my White Knights.

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  5. “Nobody seems to care about the frogs.” That was what I thought too 😀 It was the one Allen’s lolly I didn’t like eating. Luckily the Snakes are still around, phew. I’ve had Milk Duds a few times in my life, and as far as I can remember, it was always a challenge getting hands on them. I really do not think they are going away anytime soon, though.

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  6. I never knew they sold Milk Duds anywhere besides movie theaters where they cost about $200 a box. Not really a fan, but then if I sample any Hershey product I, well, I won’t write anything too disgusting on your blog… I can eat “real” chocolate, but get sick if there’s less than 65% cocoa. A Hershey so-call-chocolate bar? I’ll be in the men’s room for the next three weeks….

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  7. There is even a Facebook petition to reinstate the polly waffle, a chocolate maker in Melbourne is looking at making a “copy” bar if enough people showed interest

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  8. We have a store called “Yummies” here in Maine that specializes in retro sweets, but they don’t carry milk duds, so the duds must still be au courant. You know you’re over the hill when your childhood favorites are no longer available. I used to love Heath Bars and Sky Bars…..but they are no more….

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    • This is good to know. Thanks Cynthia. There has also been evidence offered that they are even available in our local supermarket!

      I was reminded, in my research, that Milo Bars have disappeared. I loved those. They were disgusting really, but oooh so good. 😀

      I think I remember seeing Sky Bars in the nostalgia display at Dylan’s. 🙂

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  9. I shall have to disagree with you about ANY USA so-called chocolate even though I have never seen/heard/eaten any of the above mentioned ‘lollies’. Another weirdo Aussie term. Lollies? What on earth was wrong with sweets? Anyway, I am still chuckling over Pollywaffles. So funny… 😀

    But really, do yourself a favour and stick to REAL chocolate!

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  11. Okay, so I have the answer to your problem……I don’t know where the Milk Duds hide all year, but I can guarantee you if you come over in October and do a spot of trick-or-treating, you will be gifted with WAY TOO MANY boxes of Milk Duds. It’s true……October 31st….think on it! They’ll even be free, all you need is to make the flight and have some costume to don once you’re here!

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  12. Thank all the gods we have you around to keep us up-to-date on these vital matters. H !!! [grin]
    Did you know I HATE YOU for being able to even say “my favourite lolly” (I shan’t dignify, etc.) ? – if I had a favourite lolly,I wouldn’t be able to fit in my recliner chair. 😦
    It is VERY foggy this-morning, btw; and them kurrawongs is hooting dismally. Or is that a passing tourist ship …?

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  14. Now, I have to see if one of the two supermarkets in Dismal Swamp offers these Milk Duds. (What a name!) Does anyone else from Australia mourn the loss of Darrell Lea and their products?

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      • Aha! I just did a little snoop online, and found this: “Darrell Lea was placed in voluntary administration in July and yesterday’s announcement came as administrator PPB Advisory said the company had been sold to a Queensland-based consumer goods firm.

        To be operated by the Quinn family, Darrell Lea products would continue to be manufactured, marketed and distributed in Australia.”

        Yes, I adore their licorice, and was over the moon when I found licorice gelato in Venice … yum.

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    • I had to look up both of those. Yum. 🙂
      According to my research, they still make UNO bars, just not in mint. Poor Baffle got ditched when the company was taken over in 1978. 😦 It’s always sad to see the demise of a chocolate bar.

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      • The Baffle Bar had bits of fruit in it so I never liked it as well. I haven’t seen UNO’s here forever. I’m rather hooked on Mr. Goodbar just now. Buy 2 and you get 3. Aren’t we suckers for a “bargain”? I keep ’em in the fridge and trot one out when I’m stumped (while writing my tome). IThe peanuts help the little grey cells reorganize.

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  19. No more spearmint leaves at Christmas time. How on earth will I cope?? Perhaps they will be revived by the duopoly under some generic no name brand….. Thank god we still have red frogs. There would be a mutiny in my house if the frogs even disappeared….Not that I like to support Nestle with some of their unethical marketing campaigns. Back in the day, we use to participate in the Nestle boycott….

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    • Geelong Confectionery still makes spearmint leaves but I don’t suppose that helps you. I think red frogs are safe. Otherwise what would the summer beach patrols hand out? (They’re called Red Frogs. 🙂 ) Yes, we tried to boycott Nestle but these days they own so much (including Uncle Toby’s) it makes it difficult.

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  20. Like Trent, I mostly associate them with movie theaters, where I choose them partly for their taste and partly in hopes that they will last long enough -which they usually do! I think that here-I live in Georgia, near Atlanta-they are still readily available. I say that because I stand for longer than I should in front of candy counters debating with myself. . . 😉 As far as chocolate goes, I am not picky!!! Looove it!!! It is funny, thinking about the candy of our childhood; I love Zero bars, which are hard to find, but not so much for their flavor as because they sold them at the swimming pool I went to as a child. 🙂

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    • Now you mention it, I can hear someone saying something about milk duds and a movie somewhere in my movie memory banks.

      I think the food of childhood has powerful memories – good and bad. (Tongue and overcooked brussel sprouts in white sauce….gag!) I remember Sherbet Fountains (sherbet that you sucked (usually unsuccessfully) through a licorice tube), the now-unfortunately-named Fags (lolly cigarettes – they were my favourites but I never became a smoker so pffft to that theory), musk sticks (that you twirled in your mouth until you sharpened the end like a pencil) and Juicy Fruit chewing gum (that I only got when I went to my grandparents’ in the holidays – we weren’t allowed chewing gum at home). They all hold very significant places in my memory banks and often, like you, with relational memories. 🙂

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