Are you looking for a new challenge? Is parachuting getting you down? Is mountain biking a bumpy ride? Have ultra-marathons taken you too far?
I’ve got just the thing.
It will take guts and determination. It will take all your focus and intelligence. It is a sport not undertaken lightly. Prior experience in lower levels could be beneficial but ultimately success will come only through hard work.
Are you ready for it?
Yes, that’s right. Dot-to-dots. What? That’s one thousand dots there. It’s Extreme Dot-to-dots.
So, do you think you’re up to it? Prepared to put your brain and writing hand on the line for this challenge? Okay. Here’s a few things you need to know.
This is not a high level equipment sport. You will need a pen. That’s it. Or a pencil, if you’re the wussy type. Oh, and an ability to count to 1000. And maybe a ruler, if you’re anally retentive about straight lines or an engineer.
If you’re thinking, “I did heaps of dot-to-dots when I was a kid; this will be a breeze”, you need to understand fully that this is nothing like those. The numbering does not follow a predictable pattern. You will find yourself wandering across the page and back again. It will feel like you are covering old ground. Keep your eye on the numbered signposts. One misstep and you’ll be lost forever.
But don’t panic. There is help at hand. Each one hundred group of numbers is colour-coded. This will make it easier to find 457 when it is hiding amongst the 800s. And they will. Hide, that is. If you can’t find your next signpost in the immediate vicinity, it is best you wander further afield to locate it. Just don’t lose sight of whence you came.
Be attentive. Always. This sport will play tricks on you. It will try to convince you that the number after 334 is 345 by placing the numbers right next to each other while the number you are looking for will be hidden across the page in the 670s.
Don’t be tempted to travel backwards between two numbers because it’s easier to hold the pen that way. You take a great risk of heading off along the path from the wrong point and that way confusion lies. Also the picture won’t work.
This is a gruelling event. It is possible to undertake the challenge in stages but where’s the fun in that? However, if you choose to complete it in one go, be warned that you will in all likelihood lose the ability to count by about 825. This is when you will really need to focus if you are to claim the prize at the end.
By the end of the challenge your head will hurt, your hand will ache and your brain will be so muddled you will have trouble remembering your own name. Unless you can spell it out in numbers.
But it will be worth it!
This is not a sport for the faint of pen. You’ll need a good solid colour or you won’t get the full effect.
One final warning. This sport has a tendency to become addictive. You will want to go again almost immediately after completing your first challenge. This is not recommended. It is suggested that you wait a minimum of 24 hours before attempting the sport again or you are likely to find yourself unable to speak coherently.
Think you’re brave enough? Good. See you out on the Dot Field.
With many thanks to the Button Pusher friend who gave me this for Christmas. She knows me a bit too well, methinks.