A report from the Central Republic of Kitchen by our foreign correspondent Heath Dempster.
There has been a temporary cessation of hostilities between the government forces of the Central Republic of Kitchen and the rebels from the Northern States of Boys Rooms as they battle a new enemy invading both countries.
The CRK, Northern States and other countries in the region, including the Kingdom of Laundry and the United States of Lounge are under sustained aerial attack from the secretive terror organisation Clothing Moths.
Originating from hidden bases inside the tiny states of Wardrobe, the Clothing Moths have been attacking crops of Woollen Garments. While it is currently not Woollen Garment season, the attacks are likely to leave the citizens of all countries in dire circumstances in future months.
Together, the CRK army and the Northern State rebels have attempted to eliminate the threat by targetting individual Clothing Moths, but it is becoming evident that the assault is larger and more extensive than expected. There have been confirmed reports of the decimation of Carpet crops in some corners of the region.
The leader of the CRK, Mother, has called an emergency meeting of cabinet to discuss the possible action of widespread bombing to clear the region of this terror cell.
Even if the terrorists are driven from the region, the countries will undoubtedly require international assistance to clean up the extensive damage sustained by the attack.
Scene of battles with the terrorist Clothing Moths.
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The Crumb Wars 2: Expansion Into The Northern States
The Crumb Wars 3: Abandonment of Civic Order
The Crumb Wars 4: Rice Wars
Master of Something I'm Yet To Discover 
What the?
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Translation: We have a clothing moth infestation. It may take an expensive fumigation of the whole house to clear. 😦
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Love the photo of the moth! Sorry about the invasion.
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It almost looks cute in that picture. Doesn’t make me want to squish them any less, though.
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Having been through a similar plight, that of the flour moth variety, the citizens of Wee Borough of Brant offer their condolences. And I quote:
“ew”.
They go on to suggest that a bug zapping UV lamp managed to keep their pests under control. But they do not know whether it would work with the clothing variety. Ever the optimist, the B of B thinks that your current conundrum might be the answer to other issues in your country. You know, bring together opposing factions to fight a common foe. That kind of thing.
Good luck!
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The citizens of the CRK and others thank the folk of the B of B for their invaluable assistance. They shall investigate the importation of such devices forthwith.
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I feel compelled to echo the sentiments of the representative from the Wee Borough of Brant …. “ewww”.
This representative from the State of Scarborough is completely without experience or resources to offer anything more substantive.
We will remain on stand-by in case we can be of assistance. We are now in a Level 3 state of emergency and can deploy security measures within the hour.
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Oh my…..first the CRK has to deal with the battle from within and now she’s attacked by terrorist cell…..horrible. But perhaps she will use this to her advantage and get the mutinous rebels from within used to following her commands in order to beat the terrorists hence setting up new way of doing things for future!? Good luck and stay safe out there!
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The rebels will certainly be induced to arm themselves with the Spray Bottle of Multipurpose and the Washcloth of Wipe in order to defeat this foe together.
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Oh my goodness there are some advantages to it being -31 Celsius with the windchill outside. No clothing moths would consider such a spot to live. Best of luck in the battle.
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Right now I would take 6 feet of snow over this daily ritual of Bug Squishing. The country may never be the same….
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Oh dear that doesn’t sound fun at all. Well I could mail you some of this snowbank on my front step if it would help. 🙂
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OK, so the upside of this is that you don’t have bed bugs? I had to fumigate and clean once due to an insect, so I sympathize with all that you have to do.
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[H sings] Always look on the bright side of life. [whistles] (Oh, great. Now I’m sticking songs in my own head…)
M-J, I can’t even get my head around it. They’re in every wardrobe and they’re starting to eat the carpet. If only it were a video game and I could just press reset and start again.
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Eating the carpet? Yikes! That’s nasty. I sure hope you can fix the situation before it gets worse.
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Eeeeeeeeewww !!! I hate any insect when it comes in hordes.
Has this happened before to youse ? – Any idea why it’s happened ?
The good part is that it gave you fodder for another CW post: how I LOVE these !!!! 😀
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I start out ‘ewwww’ and then become slightly obsessive about hunting them down. Same thing happens when the cabbage moths invade the veggie patch and every time I walk past I have to search for caterpillars. What is wrong with me? (DON’T ANSWER THAT!)
We noticed some holes in a couple of clothes a few months ago. Bought bug deterrents and never saw anything. Then, out of the blue, they’ve just come out of everywhere.
It’s taken me a couple of weeks to see the funny side sufficiently to contemplate such a post.
And now I must away and do my bit to assist the people to participate in our robust democracy. 🙂
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Erhm … yes. I suppose so. ‘Robust democracy’ I mean.
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Have you thought of putting camphor in the cupboards?
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Cedar is also supposed to work. Lavender too, I think. The trouble is I have to treat everything first to get rid of eggs and larvae or the whole thing just starts all over again.
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God speed to you in your defence of all the affected territories. I pray for your victory over the hungry invading hordes.
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I fear a complete victory will never be achieved. We can hope only for enough of a victory to avoid total annihilation. The CRK thanks you for your continued support.
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Give them a good smack, teach them a lesson. Could you put a worn pair of pants outside with “welcome here’ as a decoy for moths to get stuck into?
Hope this helps.
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I have been smacking them. Hence the mess on my walls.
Your pants suggestion has merit. It appears to me that Ground Zero is an old woollen dressing gown (judging by its rather aerated appearance). Perhaps a Grandpa Scarecrow is in order. Or should that be a Grandpa Attractcrow?
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We have the same problem here. I seal up winter clothes in garment bags over the summer and hope for the best. I’ve tried the herbal sachets and the mothballs (ugh) and various other things all to no avail. My understanding is that it is the larva of the moths that actually do the eating of the fabric. It’s always something….
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Yes, it is the larvae. And they’re too tiny to spot readily. However, I believe they intensely dislike sunlight so when I can find a very sunny day when I am actually home for some decent length of time (hahahaha), I plan to pull out all woollen items and either wash them or if that is not possible, hang them out on the line in the hopes the rotten sods will shrivel up and drop off.
Goodness only knows what I do about the ones in the carpet, though…
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Rotten sods! I love that! I’m adopting that immediately into my vernacular.
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I regret to inform you this is not – I repeat, NOT – an isolated incidence!
Be on the alert, and be very, VERY careful!
Just when you think you have cracked the terrorist cell, another manifests itself.
This may explain the increased artillery now seen in the armaments aisle of the arsenal!
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Yes, I plan to raid the armoury for all the weaponry I can lay my hands on!
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