Scene of the latest outbreak of hostilities.
In what can only be described as an outbreak of domestic tension in the Central Republic of Kitchen, the leader of the country has declared Dishcloth Law.
Mother, until now generally viewed as a benevolent dictator by the international community, has stated that unless all citizens implement the Clean Up After Yourself legislation being forced through parliament tomorrow, food supplies will be restricted and all citizens will be required to report daily for compulsory dishes duty.
A small rebel contingent in the country has for some time been waging a guerrilla war of toast crumbs in the bench fringes of the country.
Yesterday, Mother sacked the Deputy Leader, Father, as Secretary of Cleanliness. An anonymous source close to the leader said the Deputy Leader was found to be in line with the rebels. “He’s just as bad,” Mother is reported to have said.
The United Household Nations is monitoring the situation. At present, they advise there is no cause for alarm and it is hoped that the rebellion will be quelled peacefully and the country returned to its normal state of General Untidiness within the month.
Master of Something I'm Yet To Discover 
Hilarious, you idiot ! [grin] – but also very clever ! 🙂
You should do more of these, H …
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I thought after all the angsty posts lately, people could use an amusing break. 🙂
Regular reports from the front line? I’ll see what I can do…
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Your wit could easily adapt just about any post to this … ahh … formula; and it works SO WELL !
Btw … check my site and look at any of the ToCs; and see what Rich has done for me …
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Excellent! He’s a good man, your Rich, eh?
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He’s a bloody gem ! – and nice with it. 🙂
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Was it a jam sandwich on sour-dough?
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There was a series of skirmishes involving toast, sandwiches and scones with jam.
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Dear God….please be careful over there in these hostile conditions…..you never know what hungry natives will do! 🙂
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Oh, that’s true. Excuse me while I go find out where I can buy a Hurt Locker….
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Beautifully put! I think one of your army slipped over to our house, the offending crumbs are scattered from a nightly repast when I’m in bed.
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Night raids? I wouldn’t put it past them.
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We Canadians are supposedly really good at peacekeeping… You need any help?
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Are they also good at housekeeping? Because I could really use a platoon of those.
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not THIS Canadian. She doesn’t like housekeeping.
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Not even if I gave you a funky pale blue helmet to wear while you’re vacuuming?
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… keep talking… food, talk about food.
Oh. Wait. That means crumbs, doesn’t it?
Never mind…
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😀
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You need a dog or two. Crumbs are nonexistent in my house.
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Ooh, Barbara, sore point. I’d love a dog but The Husband won’t allow it. He has a list of annoyingly logical and sensible reasons, too. I hate that.
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Darn it! Another brilliant solution foiled by logic. Don’t you hate it when they don’t comply with every single thing we want?
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I know! What’s with that?? Some people have no idea how they’re supposed to behave. [shakes head disbelievingly]
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May your return to the state of General Untidiness within the month be peaceful! 😛 This was hilarious. Mother, the benevolent dictator-Father the deputy leader who’s “just as bad” – story of my life!
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Thanks! Glad to hear there are similar nation states out there. Think we could start our own version of the G8? 😀
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Hahaha! We could definitely start our own version of the G8! 😀 I have to say, my benevolent dictator of a mother read this post in denial, while my “Just as bad” father enjoyed it thoroughly!
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Fun, fun, fun post! 🙂
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And about time, too, I reckon. Expect more. 🙂 (Not that I’m into setting up unreal expectations or anything…)
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Ha! By the way, I’m working on a post in response to this week’s challenge that’s going to sound somewhat like yours – satirical humor. We must be on the same wavelength this week 😉
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Looking forward to reading it!
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This Dictator feels your pain. We definitely need a G8 before this not-so-peaceful Canadian loses the “Benevolent” status. With only one rebel left in the country, his drive-by assaults have escalated since his near vision has deteriorated with age. Whereas the chaos used to be localized and contained, now they are widespread. I’m about to declare Marshall Law.
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Oh, Joanne. It’s unspeakable. Yes, let’s form a G8. Then we must hold an emergency summit to discuss the issue, make empty promises and then do nothing about it.
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Will there be food? Wine? … questionable (mis)behaviour? …
I’m in.
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They would be compulsory, don’t you think? Just no shirt-fronting. We’ll leave that to the bully boys.
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What’s shirt-fronting?
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It’s a term out of Australian Rules football. It’s an aggressive tactic, pretty much sticking your chest into someone else’s. It’s big (embarrassing) news in Oz at the moment. Check this out: http://www.abc.net.au/news/2014-10-13/abbott-vows-to-shirt-front-putin/5810712
Sigh.
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Ahhh – Aussie Rules Football pretty much says it all.
What a silly thing for Abbott to say though.
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You have no idea. Something stupid comes out of one of the front bench on an almost daily basis.
For example, according to our Treasurer, only the rich will be affected by a fuel tax increase because “the poorest people either don’t have cars or actually don’t drive very far”.
I’ve mostly stopped paying attention to the news out of respect for my mental health.
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Nooo! Did he really say something that stupid?!!!!
I’m so sad for all of Australia 😦
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This might help you. (Doesn’t help me with my embarrassment…)
http://www.smh.com.au/federal-politics/political-news/shirtfront-explained-what-tony-abbott-has-vowed-to-do-to-vladimir-putin-20141013-115hfz.html
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Always a delight to find a fellow soldier battling in the domestic trenches. Never let them see fear; they live on fear.
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Thanks for dropping in. Sorry about the mess. Looking at my house, I think I’ve surrendered.
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