Born That Way

I have a theory. It’s that people go through life in the manner in which they were born.

I’ve come to this theory through exhaustive research. Which means through watching my three kids. Who are, you know, exhausting.

Child Number One arrived a week late and has been running late ever since. His birth was steady and predictable and that’s pretty much how he approaches each day. He gets there when he needs to with a minimum of fuss.

He goes through life like this:



Child Number Two arrived early and quick and has been in a hurry to do everything ever since. He just got up and walked when he was ready, he toilet-trained in one day and we’ve had to put him in a school with a vertical curriculum so he can zoom through the subjects he’s interested in before he gets bored.

He goes through life like this:



Child Number Three. Sigh. Child Number Three took his sweet time arriving. First he was coming, then he wasn’t. Then he was, then he wasn’t. This went on for 29 hours. Then he decided he was coming and arrived in a rush. So how does that translate into his life? He will show all signs of having caught onto something (sleeping through the night, for example) but then some time later decide he hasn’t (driving his parents mad waking several times a night, for example). He’s got it. No, he hasn’t. He’s got it. No, he hasn’t. And then one day, we’ll realise that he got it permanently some time ago when we weren’t looking. This is also the child who one day will get himself up, dressed, breakfasted, make his lunch and be sitting on the couch ready for school by 7.30am. The next morning he’ll get yelled out of bed at 8am and even then he will stand staring into the pantry wondering what to do next.

He goes through life like this:



Me? Yes, well, I’ll admit that writing this post did prompt me to contact my mother and ask about my own birth. Apparently it was pretty straightforward and boring. I was disappointed. I think I was hoping it was a bit radical or at least interesting. However, it turns out that while my birth was uneventful, the pregnancy was memorable. My mother suffered from contractions on and off through most of the pregnancy. That’s definitely me. As a wanderer and Jack of All Trades, I am always looking out for the next new thing, always wondering what lies around the next corner. I can imagine myself, having been in the womb a few months already, thinking “Okay, I’ve done this womb thing. What’s next? I want out. What’s next?” 

I go through life like this:



But, you know, it’s just a theory.


(Final Image – Creative Commons:



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19 thoughts on “Born That Way

  1. My grin got bigger and bigger as I read this through! 😀
    All three of mom’s children were “7-month” babies – not premature, just early. I don’t know if this means her MD couldn’t count or what… but two of us (including yours truly) are Aries – rammy types, you know. I can relate to your final picture. 😉


  2. Interesting theory. I love the way you described your kids 🙂
    I have to admit, I relate to the little girl peering around the corner too … always looking for the next adventure.


    • My kids are 17, 15 and 12 now and I am constantly amazed at how each of them continues to approach things in the same manner. Makes me laugh (or scream, depending on what they’re doing).

      I love that picture. Funnily enough, my hair used to be that colour when I was that age. But I wouldn’t be in a dress.


  3. OMG! Someone else who’s reached the same conclusion! My kids (4 of them, now about your age) have been perfect examples of this all their lives. People have always looked at me strangely (or laughed tolerantly) when I trotted out the theory, but it works for me. How wonderful to find someone else who sees it too!


    • Hm. You like to stand on your own two feet? You have a tendency to stand your ground? You always hit the ground running?

      I was standing and leaning on the bed when my youngest came so he was born upside down (great catch by the midwife). When he was a small boy, he would watch tv standing on his head with his legs slung over the back of the couch!


  4. Good to meet a fellow Victorian. I love your theory in this post. It made me think of my own three children. All easy births, and easy kids to a point. The first took one hour to come, after some codliver oil, or was it castor oil, not recommended, anyway. She grew up so fast and at 14 thought she was an adult. The second… golly this will be come a post. Shall write it later!
    Thanks for your follow, and l look forward to following yours! Yes, I agree with your theory!!


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