I got a chain letter the other day. In the mail. I mean, what am I, thirteen? I haven’t had a chain letter in the mail since the time I was promised 200 postcards from around the world. I got one. From someone in the next town.

I don’t even know the person who sent it. According to the instructions (yes, I read them – I was curious), you have to send the letter to 200 people randomly selected from your favourite phonebook. For some reason, this person’s favourite phonebook is for a region at the opposite end of the state. At least it spreads it around.

Oh, and what does it promise? Well, if I just photocopy the letter – all FOUR pages of it – stick a 5c coin to EACH and send it to a minimum of 200 total strangers, I will, with absolute certainty, receive a minimum of $70,000. Oh, and I have to send $10 to the person on the top of the list, which is obviously where the $70,000 comes in.

I loved this bit: Wrap your $10 note – cash only (NO CHEQUES) tightly inside a brief handwritten note containing your name, address (including postcode) and write this short statement – ‘Please accept this $10 gift’. This note guarantees that you are operating within the law. Oh yeah, not dodgy at all.

They even very kindly work out the cost of sending it on to 200 people for you. Only $211. And only 5 hours of my time. Sounds like a bargain.

But it must be great, right? I mean, the man who wrote the original letter says he has so far made $1,100,000. And “This is a legitimate business opportunity and perfectly legal.” So my new friend Dave tells me.

If I go ahead with it, I’ll let you know how it pans out. Probably from my private jet en route to my new apartment in Paris.